Some break ups happen out of the blue, but there can be just as much pain when you feel as though you’re in a loveless relationship. Are you and your significant other thickheaded and unwilling to give in? Here are some things you can try if you feel your relationship is over and want to salvage what may be left of it.
#1 Stop the finger-pointing.
When a relationship fails, it seems easier to blame it on our partners. One example of this is the complaint of one partner seemingly not listening or not interested in what the other partner has to say. She’s very distant. Why doesn’t he do something kind for a change? I might consider doing more for her if she would just stop complaining. By putting all the fault on your partner, you’re putting them on the defense. Start by being thankful for the nice things your partner does instead of the negative things.
#2 Stop being so clingy.
Not being comfortable spending time apart from your partner is unhealthy! It’s very common for couples to break up when they have dependency issues. Know how important it is to have time away from each other and that you don’t need your partner to go shopping, etc. If you find yourself wanting to be with your mate 24/7, understand that this is not healthy and you need to find other things to do.
#3 Are you discussing issues?
For a couple to be successful, talking to each other is key. If the only way you’re communicating is through sarcasm and arguing, it’s time to make a change because it’s very disrespectful. You wouldn’t talk to others close to you that way, so why would your mate be any different?
#4 Stop paying attention to beliefs that are not true.
Are you forever thinking that you know what your partner is thinking or doing? For example, if your partner doesn’t shower you with attention, you convince yourself they don’t care about you. Give up on listening to those wrong beliefs; all they are doing is contaminating your view of what is real.
#5 Are you paying attention?
Do you pay attention to what your partner likes to do? Are you being fair and really listening to what they have to say? While a lot may fall on deaf ears, we just want to be right. The next time you have a disagreement, genuinely listen to them and keep your voice down. You may be missing out on something very important and you’re not always going to be right.
For some couples it may not make a significant difference to try some of the things above. If that’s what’s going on, you both need to have some time apart. Take this time to clear your head and decide what it is that you really want.