Relationships and love are funny things in this day and age. Most of us start to forget why we’ve chosen the relationships we’re in or whether they’ve chosen us instead. There’s a constant battle for power and dominance or if not.. there’s always some form of misunderstanding between the sexes. If you’ve been dumped, you’re likely to be feeling desperate and hopeless… wondering if your ex will ever come back to you. So how can you win your ex back even when you’re the only one trying?

It certainly doesn’t start by provoking more arguments and bickering that’s for sure. If you want to win your ex back, you need to stop and look at yourself first. Believe it or not, we chose to be where we are right now. The little things we did throughout the relationship indirectly influenced its own demise. So what did you do? Care to think this one over and properly assess the situation with a new pair of eyes?

If your break up came as a complete shock, it could be as much of what you didn’t do as with something you did. Giving too much attention can be just as poisonous as giving too little attention, and unless you get your ex to open up about exactly what went wrong, you might never figure it out on your own.

So what is the first step to getting your ex back? If we cross out arguing, we’re left with loving, but showering your ex with love at this time will actually have negative effects than you think. Breaking up with someone is not easy and it can make people curl up into a shell. If you’re going at them too strongly during this time, guess what, they’ll only pull away from you even more.

The best thing to do is not to pressure them but to agree with the decision to break up. Later on you can dissect your break up on your own to figure out what you should do but right now, lay low instead.

You’ll also want to avoid calling them constantly, sending a string of txt messages or stalking them or their friends and families. Stay calm even if you’re dying instead because its likely your ex isn’t having the time of their life either.
Women will leave a relationship if their emotional needs are not being met, therefore getting back with an ex girlfriend or wife will require you to appeal to a woman’s emotional side. Men will leave a relationship if it becomes monotonous or claustrophobic. For this reason getting back with a male partner will require you to show them that you have changed and that the relationship will be different.

In both cases, you will begin by allowing a small amount of time before contacting your ex again. After this initial contact, you will be required to slowly increase the frequency with which you are contacting your ex.

For men, you will be aiming to show your ex that you do value and respect her feelings and opinions by remaining attentive and listening to what she has to say. This will also provide you with an opportunity to identify any nonverbal cues she may be giving you.

For women, spending time with your ex is a chance to get him involved in activities you may have previously enjoyed as a couple. This will ensure he knows what he is missing out on by not being in the relationship and will also remind him of how much fun the two of you may have had together. This will be the time in which to show him the efforts you have made to improve upon a possible future relationship. Avoid discussing the end of your relationship and refrain from constantly asking about his feelings, as this will only serve to scare him away.

The following will apply to everyone who find themselves in a situation in which they want to win their ex back. If you have previously let yourself go (i.e. have allowed your fitness to diminish) be sure to make the effort to improve your fitness and get yourself back into shape. Nothing will make your ex notice you more than seeing your physical appearance enhanced.

Any changes you make in an attempt to revive a relationship with your ex must be maintained in a new relationship. Failure to maintain these changes will only result in the end of your new relationship and consequent heartache for both parties. Ensure all possible changes are sustainable before attempting to win back your ex.